Friday, January 7, 2011

"A Circle's Round..."

"It has no edge, that’s how long I want to be your friend."

As a child, my Girl Scout troop used to sing this song as our closing. I always valued the fact that friendship is something that shouldn't ever end no matter what. This is also why I struggle letting friendships go. Later on in life I saw this saying symbolized in marriage through the wedding ring. The wedding ring is the visible symbol of this friendship, the commitment and how it's never supposed to end.

*Not actual ring.
Honestly, I was so proud of my wedding rings. The Ex worked extremely hard to buy me a beautiful 1 Ct.  Platinum, diamond encrusted engagement ring (it was given to me as a 5 year anniversary present). It's so beautiful, catches the sun just right and looked great against my pale skin.

Now that I'm not married, I am brainstorming what to do with it.

There is a part of me that wants to save it for Z, for when she is ready to get married. I struggle with the idea that she would be wearing a symbol of something that failed or a reminder of someone who gave up. However, with the news that Prince William proposed to his fiancé with his mother's engagement ring, I've kind of been thinking about it. They were asked if they felt the ring might be cursed or a bad choice. Their response was basically that it's a beautiful ring, his mom would've wanted this to happen and their marriage has nothing to do with Prince Charles and Princess Diana's marriage.

There's another part of me that would love sell it, since The Ex never bought anything but the best, I can pay for a decent chunk of my masters degree with the money. Because of "our" income, I'm faced with funding issues for my masters. Obviously I will apply for scholarships, but if that does not follow through I'm left taking loans (if I qualify) and saving up.

But a part of me just wants to keep it for myself. I still love it. The meaning is gone. The symbolism no longer exists. The memories are still there, but there's no attachment. It's just so beautiful. It's the nicest piece of jewelry I own. I know one day I'll be given something better by a man who will love me for my values, morals, flaws, family and choices. So in a sense it seems selfish to keep it when there's something better for me "waiting". I also have no idea how to wear it. Clearly it will not be on my left hand, but it looks really silly, and doesn't fit, on my right hand.

What's your opinion? If you've been through a divorce, what did you do with your wedding rings? Were you happy with the choice? If you aren't married or are married, any advice or suggestions?

3 Things
1) I am thankful for a great PE teacher who lets me constantly participate disrupt in his class.
2) I am thankful for the thousands of opportunities that are arising on a regular basis
3) I am thankful for a weekend "alone".


  1. i've been divorced 4 years now and I still have my engagement and wedding rings. I think maybe one day i'll part with them but in my mind today isn't that day.

  2. I still have mine. I found that everyone wants the gold right now due the fact that the price of gold is up right now. I would sell the ring and let it pay for part of your Master's degree. If you keep it and love it, you may find yourself comparing the ring to a ring another gives you. I don't think that would be healthy emotionally. I think this will help you to love the next ring someone gives you even more! I also have a hangup with the idea of giving it to my daughter as to me it is a symbol of a failed marriage. If my daughter ever had the ring it would remind me all the time of the failed marriage and again I don't think that would be emotionally a good thing.

  3. I gave my engagment ring back. Like you I was so proud of it. I loved it but maybe because we never got married I didn't feel like it was mine to keep. It represented something that was never going to happen between the two of us. I miss it and my hand still feels awkward without it. I sometimes feel like I lost it. But I knew that I would never be able to wear it again.

  4. In my humble opinion, keep it. Let Z make the choice of what it means. My parents divorced when i was very young. I don't even remember us living together as a family. As I got older i wanted something that was part of that family. I had 1 faded photo. When my mother passed away and my sister and I were going through her things, we found the wedding set from when she was married to our father, ( and also the wedding set from her second husband ). I asked my sister if she minded if i kept the set from mom and dad and she was ok with that. I wore them for awhile but as my own marriage dissolved, I tucked them away along with my own wedding set. When my 2 daughters turned 18, i gave my mom's set to my oldest daughter, and my younger daughter got my wedding set. They decided what to do with them, either keep them or sell them, or wear them at their own wedding. Both of them kept them and didn't wear them. It was part of their parents, their family. Not just a ring. That is my humble opinion.