Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Stuck in reverse

*Disclaimer: I know that a lot of my posts have been "downers" but I am not depressed, these things have just been on my heart.*
There was a day when I was obsessed with Coldplay. I played their CD over and over. These days I can rarely tolerate them.

Today while driving home, this song came over the radio. Instead of turning it, I just decided to "suffer" through it. Although I believe this song is about a struggling love, this is not what caught my attention. It was the first part, that really struck a nerve with me.
"When you try your best but don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep.."
~Coldplay, FixYou

So often I feel like no matter what I do, I can't or won't succeed at it, that I'm a disappointment, that I can't get ahead of the game. I also realize that I spend way too much time getting what I want instant gratification anyone? and not enough time searching out what I need.  Most nights/days, I run myself into the ground so I can keep my mind occupied on other things. Yet, I still lay in bed for a bit before I can fall asleep.

I need to learn that the only opinion that really matters (aside from God) is mine. If I am happy and content with my behaviors, actions, choices, opinions, etc, then what does it matter what anyone else thinks. I need to stop being a people please-er ALL the time.

3 Things
1) I am thankful to be able to stand firm in circumstances that aren't good for me
2) I am thankful for a full nights rest last night (8 hours)
3) I am thankful for "professional development"

1 comment:

  1. This is a tough one. As women, we're good at taking care of others, of meeting the needs of others and putting ourselves on the back burner for a bit. As mothers, this becomes who we are: people who care for others. This includes caring about what others think about us too. I think you're on the right track with dealing with it all head-on and sorting through it all piece by piece.

    Oh, and screw everyone else!